Postage Crime

I went to the post office to pick up a parcel for my mum. In the parcel picky upy area I overheard (was standing next to and listened to) a little discursiveness between the man behind the desk and a man .. well.. he was in front of the desk.
The situation is that a man had come to pick up from the post office with one of those slips that you get put through the door when you're not there to collect it.
It turned out that what he had infact come to collect was only a christmas card. The reason he had to come pick it up was because the sender had failed to put a stamp on, so there was a charge to pay.
First of all the man seemed unhappy that he had to pay money, so would I,but that's life, you miss the post, there's no stamp, that's the way it is. You can always demand payment from the sender later.
The man then in his moaning said that he didn't understand how this had happened, again. He was in his house when the post arrived and there was no knock at the door at all.
The man behind the desk explained to him, that it was true that post men at this time of year don't knock, they just push one of those slip things through the door, because there are so many unstammped cards being sent and they don't want the burden of carrying lots of loose change around with them.
The man replied in an offended and cursing tone that it's not very good service.
The man behind the desk quipped back, "It's not nice getting mugged either."
The customer then replied "I hardly think that's a relevant statement." and left with his card, leaving the post office attendant looking angry and hurt.


So.. Whom do you side with?

I'd generally tend to side with the serviceman as I know they have to stand there and take shit of the public all day long but I don't think his use of crime was valid.
There's always the potential to be mugged... maybe a bit more during christmas I'll give.. but I still think it makes his argument void.

I liked that one. Nice little thing to ponder over on he way back home with the parcel.

Arnie's no fun anymore

It's hard to look at Arnold Schwarzenegger in a positive kitsch kind of light when you know he signed the death warrant for a 5 times Nobel Peace Prize nominee.
Agreeing with capital punishment I think is bad enough. Exercising a prime example of how bad it is is just .. not good.
See: BBC News

Cowbridge Stalking

I went to Cowbridge today. It was fun and and scary. I think that makes it exciting. YAY!
I went there a bit of a strange way. I went the way I thought was best. Which lead me out of the county and then back in. I though that I should travel from Barry to Pontyclun via Cardiff by train and then taking a bus south from Pontyclun to Cowbridge was the best option. I probably should have taken a bus straight from Barry to Cowbridge, but never mind, I got there in the end.
See these scans of transport receipts...


Proof that I went there when I say I went there.

Here is a drawing I did of the school there. How paedophiliac.

videoGaiden

BBC Scotland Television Programme

A desktop shamelessly made from images found on the website.



Watch videoGaiden online - Click Here

Wikipedia entry for videoGaiden

To Dance

Ahh...

WATCH THESE BREAKDANCING VIDEOS NOW!

B-Boy Junior aka Buana

One on One Breakdance Competition

Now remember that car ad with Singing In The Rain?

Remember it.

The dancing was pretty nifty in that. Yeah? Makes you think "Was that CG assisted?" (Clearly Gene Kelly's face has been CG'd somewhere, what I mean is the dancing.)
Well, intertent seems to tell me that it is not and that it is infact the special dancing of a person called David 'Elsewhere' Bernal. Videos of this person have been flying around the internet. You've most likely seen something he did at a Kollaboration event.

Read about him a bit.
That article I just linked to above has a link to a video aswell.

The music in the ad? Yeah, that was fairly interesting too. Surprise, surprise the video for that has some fancy dancing and impressive CG too.
Watch the music video.


Hmmm.... I wait.

Incase you didn't watch them I'll link to the most 'must see' videos again.

B-Boy Junior aka Buana

One on One Breakdance Competition

Life Hurts

I miss serenity.

You have just officially read my most emo blog post ever.

MY FACE!

Aaaarrrrgh!

New Musical Direction

Well.. a sort of musical direction. It looks at music in the distance .. well, it's in the field of vision.

Check out my debut smash hit "Shatner's Bassoon" on MySpace.

Dorset Invitational Video

From the competition, my first competition. If you want you can watch the video of my fight.

Watch Here

The picture quality in the video is no where as near as good as this picture.

For those that might ever care the details of the .mov are as like this:

Format: AAC, Stereo (L R), 32.000 kHz
H.264, 300 x 240, Millions
FPS: 15
Data Size: 10.91 MB
Data Rate: 297.54 kbits/sec
Duration: 00:05:07.0/15
Normal Size: 300 x 240 pixels

What that means to you is that you'll probably need the latest version of QuickTime to watch it. There is a link on the page where you view the video but just incase I'll give it to you here aswell.

Get the latest QuickTime

DORSET INVITATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS

I have done stuff. I will now write about it. I did the Dorset Invitational Championships.

Last Sunday was my first taekwondo competition. I got a silver medal, should be pictured below somewhere. There was however only two people in my weight category, me and the other guy. It was a tiring day. I got to bed at about half 2 the night before and then I was up at eight to be a the hall by half past nine. It was then waiting around in the hall until about three thirty before my fight was on. At about three Sarah, Christine, Gavin and Mike arrive and Sarah had kindly brought me some food so I ate about half a small apple before going on. I made Mike film my fight with my camera, so for anyone that wants to see me get kicked that wasn't there, you can! Yay!
Apparently our fight was cut very short, it was supposed to be three rounds of two minutes, but ended up being shortened to two rounds of a minute and a half because they were running behind.
Overall it wasn't such a good day. My knees were hurting quite a bit at then end of it, not because of the three minutes of taekwondo, but the five hours of standing around being nervous. I should have sat down I know, but I was nervous and bored and stuff so I kept wandering around. It was worth it though. I did enjoy the competition, if you look at the video you can see after the first round where Aaron is talking to me I'm smiling quite a bit, I think I was probably very happy that the score was 2 - 2 and I hadn't suffered any major injuries.
I eventually lost 4 - 3. I was told that I did very well for my first time and I'm quite happy about it. I was chuffed to bits on Sunday about the whole thing. It wasn't until Monday afternoon walking down a road that I started to feel slightly disappointed that I didn't win. Remembering the mistakes I made, and knowing that I should have put a bit more effort in.. especially in the last few seconds. Oh well! Next time I'll get it right, and I'll take a packed lunch.
After my fight I didn't run off home, everyone else did. Which I was a bit gutted about. After five hours on my own I saw my supporters for about five minutes before I had to get ready to go on and then about three minutes after I'd finished. So I spent another couple of hours wandering around until the even finished. Was there for the issuing of trophies, we didn't win, we came fifth out of about twenty five teams. I then helped to tidy up a bit, put some mats away, awkwardly went to the bar with all the people that were keeping the competition running throughout the day, felt out of place with my pint of water, I was a bit of an outsider there. Only being with the club for a year and not really socialising with people as much as they clearly had with each other. Then at about seven Rob picked my up from Littledown Centre and I went with them, Rob, Gavin and Christine, for a meal in town. It was pretty crap, I had a cheese and pickle baguette, the pickle was on the side in a sealed Heinz plastic sauce container type thing.

The photo you see of me in the fight below cost me £8.50 so enjoy it! The photographers must have made a packet. The sat there ringside where no one else could and took masses of photos and then quickly printed up little samples so people could choose which one they wanted to buy, and then they would print out larger copies. Mine was the smallest you could buy other than the keyring, 7' by 5' print for £8.00 plus £0.50 for paying by card.




That's the picture that cost me £8.50 There were other pictures there, ones where you could see my face, ones where I was doing fancy kicks, but I went for the one that looks as if I've just floored him with a right hook. I went for the comedy one. I never did punch him, not ever, it's just the angle and timing. I swear.



Here you can see the medal I won. And below the sheet thing with the information stuff for the fights. That I took of the wall at the end of the evening, a unique piece as all the others were thrown in the bin.

Capoeira Origens do Brasil

I love capoeira! I did my fourth lesson today. It was a class at the uni. It was also the first time I played the roda. It was good ... so good.

I started about two weeks ago .. ish. I went to a class on a Wednesday. The class wasn't a beginners but I still enjoyed it, for most of the lesson I was taken aside by one person and shown the ginga. The next time I went to the more beginners class on a Tuesday. It was also good and I went there again, but today has been my favourite session so far. It was in the uni sports all in the same place where I do the uni taekwondo class. There were lots of freshers there, students with no experience, so I had about a weeks head start on them and also the instructor, Bia brought people from her other class, so there were lots of more practised capoeiristas there. Al lot of the lesson the beginners were paired with the more practised people.

Oh. I love it so much. I completely intend to do it for the rest of my life now.

Links:

Capoeira Origens do Brasil

Wiki - Capoeira

Scud & Cel Do Death 2

Phew O.K. I really do need to wash but I think writing this is more important, yes, that is because I have messed up priorities.
Is how I began writing this post this morning. You might be pleased to know that I have washed since then, although there is still mud in my hair (Why? Well, read on, read on).
I have decided to go for another method of writing this post because I am too lazy to actually write it properly. I have commented on what was already written by Celyn. I suggest that you read what he wrote on his LiveJournal so that you get it all in advance from the source before you read what I write.

Read Celyn's Side.

The way I commented was in conversation with someone on 'tMSN. So being even lazier than I should be I'm just going to copy the chat log and change it a bit to make me look better having both made the comments with hindsight and then modified them with hindsight+6. Yay.

Here goes...

22:03:57 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Did Cel tell you his lies?

22:05:07 privatenobby@hotmail.com: His side of the story, the story being "Scud & Cel Do Death 2" (Yeah, my name goes first.)?

22:05:40 someone@hotmail.com: Scud. D'you think that for once you could TRY and start at the beginning.

22:05:48 someone@hotmail.com: You could possibly speak in full sentences too.
Is this the 'lets choose between dorwning and climbing cliffs' story?

22:07:55 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Yeah.

22:08:06 someone@hotmail.com: then i have read a version of it

22:08:42 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Hm... I started writing mine this morning. I got one line into the introduction. Damn.

22:08:59 privatenobby@hotmail.com: There are half lies in it that I need to expose.

22:10:23 someone@hotmail.com: If you're going to tell me your 'true' story then go for it. otherwise...er...turnip

22:11:21 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I want to write it really. Well I suppose I could tell you and then do lots of cut and paste. That might be easier actually. And it might make it make more sense *shrug*

22:11:48 someone@hotmail.com: and i shall pretend to be interested. wow. it works out quite well.

22:29:07 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Scud came round yesterday." - True

22:29:35 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "We went to Rets with some wine and energy drinks. Watched Adam and Joe Go Tokyo! Whole series. We rock." - True True Of course true

22:29:36 someone@hotmail.com: sentence by sentence...*cries*

22:30:13 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Went home at... a time... it was still dark but fast approaching dawn. Ten to Five says the Scud half passed out behind me." - It breaks down a bit here.

22:31:47 privatenobby@hotmail.com: It was ten to five when we left Ret's, Ret kicked us out because he wanted to got to bed. The kick fuled drunken fools enquired to this poofy soberness with the question "What time is it?" After the answer we left.

22:32:30 privatenobby@hotmail.com: At this point I was not half passed out. I was drunk. Just drunk.

22:32:57 someone@hotmail.com: seems a lot more entertaining when you're half passed out. Call it artistic license

22:34:46 privatenobby@hotmail.com: If I was half passed out I would have not made the suggestion to not go back to his house, and instead only dump our bags at his house and carry on walking. I don't like it for that reason, it doesn't make sense, unconsciously you'll pick up on that, it breaks the narrative down subtly in your head, nonono, not having it.

22:35:13 privatenobby@hotmail.com: half sensible would have been much more appropriate.

22:36:00 someone@hotmail.com: i'll bear that in mind if i ever decide to make a study of it

22:36:26 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I can't be too critical however because I think he did write this as soon s we returned from our adventure where I promptly passed out and he started his writing, I think I had been awake for about 4 more hours longer than him though.

22:36:52 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "We... walked... down by the cliff fronts. He suggested this walk and i agreed through drunkeness. He suggested we transfer the walk to the beach. I agreed through drunkeness... then the tide came in."

22:46:45 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "We... walked... down by the cliff fronts. He suggested this walk and i agreed through drunkeness. He suggested we transfer the walk to the beach. I agreed through drunkeness... then the tide came in." -
This I like.. There's a bit of an ellipsis that I would like to have kept in, the walk to the cliffs, but it could be considered boring waffle and so a sensible cut to make. The agreeing through drunkenness nicely diverts responsibility for doom on to me, I'm not bothered by this, mostly because I consider it to be my fault but also because I expect him to repeatedly poke me in the eye. I would have included much more drama in the coming in of the tide. I think I will elaborate on that a bit more because it's one of funniest and most interesting bits, the change from walking drunks to situation of peril. It involved the possibility of death, I'm sure I've mentioned my recent problem with finding death funnier that it probably should be.

22:47:24 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Trapped on a little stretch of pebble beach our backs to a very unstable muddy, crumbly cliff with only a japanese fisherman for company i perhaps may have cursed Scuds name, genitals and general Scuddyness a few too many times. I manage to convince him that... while it SEEMED safe as the fisherman seemed fairly professional, that he was in fact suicidally depressed and amazingly fucking bitter which meant that our being there just made him pleased someone else was going to die with him. "

22:48:16 privatenobby@hotmail.com: The cursing I don't really remember, as I said, I expect it, nothing out of the unusual to me.

22:49:05 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I can also note that while he cursed the situation, he was loving it, and me and my me-y-ness for getting us there.

22:49:47 someone@hotmail.com: ...should i make an interested comment at this point?

22:50:00 privatenobby@hotmail.com: If you like.

22:50:16 someone@hotmail.com: oh really?

22:50:20 someone@hotmail.com: there. do continue.

22:53:29 privatenobby@hotmail.com: His convincing me of the fisherman's mentality is a reference to "Scud & Cel Do Death 1" (ohoh, another story, possibly documented in the form of poetry (might have been during my beatnik phase (a weekend sometime))). Although it was logical to assume that we weren't going to die on the drown because there was a fisherman there... the drunkeness and Cel's ability and the increasingly rising tide did actually put doubts and a little bit more fear into my mind.

22:53:57 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Eventually the tide came in so far that we (read: screaming scud) feared for our lives.
I asked Scud "Should i try and scale the cliff or try and stare down the ocean." He said the cliff so i did and started scrabbling up it in crazy ninja style."

22:55:11 privatenobby@hotmail.com: That makes me sound like a pussy. I don't remember being a pussy I remember being a little bit cold, bored and thinking about the fisherman ... he was sooo Japanese.

22:56:42 privatenobby@hotmail.com: And he tried to pin the Climbing idea on me, true I was impatient, and I may have ask/suggested it at some point, maybe many times ... but .. but .. I'm not so clear on my point here because I'm building on something I argued with Cel about while I was drunk.

22:57:55 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Crazy ninja? O.K. Crazy ninja, it's flexible I suppose, I'll give him that.

--- as part of a tangent a hand flapping was omitted here ---

23:06:50 someone@hotmail.com: No alarms and no surprises please.
the 'Japanese' fisherman never existed did he...

23:07:13 privatenobby@hotmail.com: He did exist. :D
23:07:26 privatenobby@hotmail.com: It makes me happy that he seems fictional.

23:08:18 someone@hotmail.com: i will flap my hand at you again *flaps hand*

23:08:55 privatenobby@hotmail.com: How do we know he was Japanese? I can't say for certain but he was one of the most Japenesey guys I had ever seen. Someone was holding flash cards of Asian people I would say with much confidence "Japanese".

23:09:43 someone@hotmail.com: *thinks carefully*

23:09:45 someone@hotmail.com: OK

23:10:51 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Now Scud is far more agile than me and he's generally far more skilled at the l33t-shit. He does Crazy Kung-Fu... he idolises capoeira! Anyway... he couldnt do it! He was shatting himself! He couldnt climb up as high as i did because he was too scared to move fast enough so the ground was just crumbling away beneath him... ahh, my one minor victory."

23:12:28 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Nothing to change there .. all very true. He had a drunken victory I wouldn't climb the bit he did because the risks were too high, if I slipped I was at least two broken legs, I was too scared.

23:22:03 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Then when we were going back down he was being all careful and sensible... and i was sliding on my arse than standing up and doing a boogie dance. Not stupid as i was completely aware of the situation... but perhaps foolish... anyway, we're still alive. Scud describes it as "Playing cliff-chicken." Yay. "

23:22:19 someone@hotmail.com: Now hurry up. you keep breaking up my bedtime story

--- I remind you dear reader that there were numerous tangents that have been omitted ---

23:23:01 someone@hotmail.com: although...i relj#]

23:23:25 someone@hotmail.com: *i really don't want this to be the last thing i think about before sleeping

23:23:59 privatenobby@hotmail.com: True, true, true, true. The chicken referred to the height of climb as the height generally but also the shape of the cliff made it more dangerous the more you did climb. The chicken description also explains the kind of victory I saw him having.

23:24:31 someone@hotmail.com: how symbolic. is that the end?

23:24:39 privatenobby@hotmail.com: NO!

23:24:45 someone@hotmail.com: *cower*

23:24:51 privatenobby@hotmail.com: And you know it isn't!

23:25:01 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "So the tide went out eventually. It was about 10 or 11 am by now. So we should head home the quickest way we know now right? No. We walk in the opposite direction, try a bit mroe cliff climbing. I put my hand into the clay like wall and pull it away to discover a nest of spiders... at this point i also have a massive fucking tree root EMBEDDED IN MY HAIR."

23:27:24 privatenobby@hotmail.com: The tree root.

23:27:31 privatenobby@hotmail.com: It was clearly a branch.

23:28:17 someone@hotmail.com: I was confused at the time of reading how he had managed to uproot a 'massive fucking tree' and put it on his head. But then i remembered who'd written it.

23:30:55 privatenobby@hotmail.com: It appeared to be growing out of the side of the cliff, so you would think it to be a root, but it had little bud things on it. I pointed them out to him and he still wanted to call it a root. He did compromise on "branch/root thing". It may have got stuck in his hair while climbing but it was only after he had taken it from the hill (as a memento) and we were walking back that he intentionally tangled it in his hair.

23:31:25 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "We walk untill we find some caravan ridden holiday home surrounded by a tall wire fence with barbed wire at the top. We climb it, walk through the aged campers and begin the long walk home along the road.
My organs hurts."

23:32:13 someone@hotmail.com: And they lived happily ever after.

23:32:18 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I think it was worth mentioning that there were at least two runs of barbed wire at the top, makes it sound more EXTREEEME!

23:32:30 someone@hotmail.com: hardKore

23:33:15 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I think something about the state of our bodies from the exterior should have been dropped in there too.

23:34:05 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I had piles of clay like mud stuff inside my shoes, we were both wet and muddy with clay/mud stuff.

23:34:11 someone@hotmail.com: You've not altered much of it at all. is this really necessary?

23:34:32 privatenobby@hotmail.com: It's lie exposing.

23:34:43 privatenobby@hotmail.com: A certain necessity.

23:34:49 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Damnit.

23:34:55 someone@hotmail.com: as is sleep.

23:34:59 someone@hotmail.com: Can i go now?

23:35:19 privatenobby@hotmail.com: You could have gone a while ago. ... You have my thanks.



There, I didn't mark all the places where I cut stuff out but if you care to look at the timestamps I'm sure you can get a good idea.
The person I was talking to does not have the email someone@hotmail.com if you were wondering; it is my cunning method of politely creating anonymity.
That should do for this post. I had much I really should have wrote about. Other stories related to recent pictures on my Flickr but I think this post is plenty heavy enough already.

Sarah Commented

The other day Sarah commented on my blog and was all like, humbled and stuff.

NPC Kung Fu

Let me begin by shamelessly pasting something that is already up here somewhere for you to read.

"I must apologise for assuming you only had one cheesy girl as a chum.

why aren't you blogging?
haven't you done anything interesting?
or are you saving yourself for a glorious review of Sam's play after you see it tonight? (I've been texting with your Mum).

Nanny Ogg
x
PS still hello Sarah dear."

It's the last comment on the previous post (at time of writing). For complete understanding of what you are about to read I strongly recommend you go back and read all the comments made on the previous post.

I'm not blogging because I got lazy.
I probably haven't done anything interesting.
Now for my glorious review: Sam's play tonight was cancelled. I went nowhere. The furthest I went today was the shop to buy milk and butter, and if it's not far enough for me to deem it necessary to put anything on my feet to go there, then you've learnt nothing about it's distance from my house.

Sarah is not listening to you! She can't hear. Although she gets the occasional mention I don't think that she reads this. Which is not an invite to test the idea by screaming abuse to see if she notices.

I've been doing kung fu while at home during the holiday to keep me from going too stiff, I haven't mentioned that on here yet I don't think. It's probably worth putting a link to the club I've been training at.
Cardiff University Nam Pai Chuan

I just noticed. The second mildly humorous martial arts shortening. World Taekwondo Federation gives you the hilarious WTF. Nam Pai Chuan gets you NPC.
Ahh, it's nice to reaffirm that I'm a geek and in the geekiest place to do that; on my blog.

± Fun

I have my first DVD drive. It cost me less than £33 including VAT and delivery. I am very happy with it so far. It is an NEC 3540.

+ 2 EXP

He was all like "I'm gonna feel you testicle now." and I was all like "...Yeah."

+ 1 for the 'I don't know about this lump, visit doctor experience'.

+ 1 for avoiding the camera there for training purposes.

Essays Done

Thanks to Cel for the picture. It did come from another context but who cares?

4x2

I know I shouldn't be blogging and should be essay writing but I thought it was well worth mentioning that I've managed a mighty 4 Number 2s today.

Worean

YAY! worean

Year 2 Theory Options

The allocations have been released for theory options next year. I think I go all my first choices. I can't be too sure, they all looked very tempting so I tried to make the best decision and didn't get too attached to anything. There are three subject areas and you sit one topic in each area. I've been given:

Non-Linear Narratives in Audiences
Authorship & Commodity in Issues
Censorship and Resistance in Texts

The complete set looks like this: -

Tintagel and HD Loss

Back from I my break in Tintagel I decided to see if I could tune up my machine a little bit, I'm now saddened by the gap on my desktop where there used to be two hard drive icons. I'm down two hard drives. I have one remaining! On the bright side I got an email from Lisa with some nice pictures from the trip. One of witch formed the base for my new poncey prick MSN icon.

Have a look on my Flickr for the camping trip photos, also Flickr have now kindly allowed my to have a sensible URL to point people to. I think the old one with the attributed set of characters and numbers still works but http://www.flickr.com/photos/privatenobby/ I can remember off by heart.
There should also be a load of photos from the camping trip on my mum's lomohome as soon as she gets the films developed. But go look at it anyway because the picture there are always pleasurable.

Tintagel Camp #4

We went to the beach, it was quite cold in the sea. It was Grace's first time in the sea.

After coming back from the sea we got food from the chippy, there were lots of crows or rooks or whatever up on the buildings by the chippy.

The evening we spent sitting around the barbecue drinking again.
I'm writing this in the car on the way back now. Just after stopping at an inn somewhere for a bit of a rest where I had a cream tea and mum took some pictures of ducks.


So summarising things, it has been another happy fun camping trip as camping trips with the family folk are. I got to know Chris a bit more which was good because on previous occasions of meeting him he always seemed to be 'a bit out of it' and very quiet.
He is a media convention defying man in that he is very intelligent and quick of wit and at the same time enough over six foot tank of a man.
And little baby Grace is incredibly cute. I don't say that because I'm a biased ladyboy either. Usually babies are just babies, but Grace is fantastic in how much she doesn't cry and whinge and stuff. The whole camping trip I never saw her miserable. It's brilliant also how, with this child, if she starts to get unhappy you can distract her from her sadness simply by clapping, she will immediately forget everything and joyfully respond by clapping back.

Tintagel Camp #3

The day has been good so far. Since writing today's earlier post we have been into Tintagel. We had a good look around the shops (a few people bought a few things). We had a nice pub lunch.

In the pub toilets Peter found something 'exciting' that he had to bring to show us all.

Chris and I took the walk up to the castle, Chris was not impressed with the castle that he got for his £3.90 as it was just some stones on the clifftops.

We are now about to go to a beach for a swim, but I think Mum & Pete are going to stay here.

Tintagel Camp #2

It's now our second day in Tintagel. After arriving at about three/fourish yesterday we did not much but eat and drink.
'We' in this situation is: myself, mother, Peter, Lisa, Chris and their baby Grace.
The enlightening snippet from last night was a product of the atmosphere that was aided in it's creation by much alcohol.
We had our nice new £15 barbecue from Halfords on the go last night.

After cooking, it served well as a camping safe source of heat.

What Life Is Really All About

MR PETE: Don't worry about chicks and dicks, life isn't all about that.

ME: What is life all about Mr Pete?

MR PETE: Computers of course!

ME: Oh yeah, silly me.

Stupid Celfest

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

I uploaded the Celfest Trailer but I can't view it because it forces the use of Windows Media Player for some reason. And WMP on the Mac is weak and pathetic.
So you can probably watch it, and I can't.

Celfest Trailer >>> Watch it!

Untouchable Speed

Raw Data:

If you're just dying to see the raw data used to calculate your download speed, here it is:

* download start time: 1120784065537
* download end time: 1120784067272
* download time: 1.735
* download size in thousands of bytes: 500
* estimated line speed (K bits per second): 2351.6
* estimated line speed (K bytes per second): 288.2



Now if only it didn't dissapear everytime I tried to download something. It would also be helpful if my computer didn't freeze all the time too.

Uni YR1 Completed with ERRORS: See Essays

This is probably going to be a long post, so I ask you now to forgive me for any repetitive strain injury you may incur from scrolling, that is if you even bother to read it all.
The massive lack of recent posts I'm blaming on the messy move from my Uni accommodation in The Student Village. Pete's car broke down and ended up needed to be repaired in the south of England (I'm typing now from my bedroom in Barry, Wales). This was back on the 24th June. That day I came home anyway, we all travelled by train leaving the car and all my stuff in England. It wasn't then until 1st July that we went down with a hired van to pick up my things (including computer). We still do not have a car here. It was only this morning that I was woken by a phone call telling me (dazed and confused as Mr. Oddy) what they needed to do to fix the car.
Then there are problems with the internet now. I believe that the wireless adaptor I'm using is somehow corrupting my machine, there has been too many problems with my machine since getting it home and it must have something to do with this silly internet business, absolutely nothing to do with the mess I keep my machine in.
Anyway, that block of text is so large I feel a picture is needed about here.

That's another thing that I found when sorting out my room to leave. It's something done by Sarah that I intended to scan before I went to uni, but have only got around to it today.
Other things that I wanted to put up here include a link to some music I came across and really liked. Here it is. It was the best that came up from that site when I did a search for "funk metal".
Another thing is some flash files that aren't particularly entertaining and you've probably seen them before but they're of some interest. There's the 9/11 pentagon thing and another more arty piece that I quite enjoyed.
There was also the Dance Dance Revolution videos, especially this one (SportsWorld DDR Tech and Freestyle Tournament 2nd Place).
That's about all I can remember for now. There was also some writing I found trying to tidy my bedroom in Barry that I wrote while drunk on a train journey that I want to type up and post here. But that'll have to come later.

Packing Finds

I'm going home (from Uni) on Saturday so I'm busy packing (obviously not too busy to take time out to post this though). As always when packing I'm coming across loads of old good things that I've put away and forgotten about. The first here is a picture from the same time as the other pictures I posted from the end of school. It's one that Sarah took on a disposable camera, that explains the extreme blurriness, however the condition of the photo has gradually deteriorated since being in my possession. Sarah kindly sent me this picture when I moaned about missing it from the collection I posted.


The next is a little cartoon I drew it captures someone's personality very well I think. So it's meaningful to them at least if not anyone else.

March of Fuzz

I know I'm a little late on this one. I know I'm actually quite late because the website for the track looks like this.
So it's old I know. But I've only just come across it so to me it's new and exciting. Although the original website appears to be dead and one that looks as if it could be a suitable alternative is lacking a working link to the song, it appears that the track is available to download from DJ Shadow's site. If that link's not working (here is yet another alternative) I suggest you take a trip over to DJ Shadow's wibsite and see if it's still on the media player. I listened to it there first and cheekily got the other tracks of the playlist as well.
How I found out about this? Through an MP3 blog Ear Fuzz that just mentioned DJ Shadow and made me curious about him. If you go there now I recommend the tracks by Zalatnay Sarolta, that's the one with the crazy retro sleeve. If you miss it you can of course ask me for the tracks because I did download them.

Revolution Controller

I was so eating a cheese and pickle baguette right next to that phone box the other day. I tried to take a picture of it with my phone because it had a Microsoft error message on the screen. You see the Borders in the background, that's where I used a voucher to buy Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance.

Shit Shirts

I just realised why I don't wear shirts very often. They're really annoying when you're trying to wipe your arse.

Hyper Exploding Luxury

Oh my!

(Our cat's name is actually Chow Yun Cat, that picture is not my cat.)

I am suffering, suffering bad. A google image search for 'Exploding Face' found a nice painting that helpfully expresses how I feel most of the time that there is sunlight this time of year.


And er... if anyone wants to buy me a "It's summer, get drunk!" present. I suggest you get me a crate of Golden Promise from here.
I like that it comes with a free superhero t-shirt.

Grandmaster Pictures

You remember when Grandmaster Park visited Bournemouth. Of course you don't. But anyway, there are pictures from that event on the Bournemouth Taekwondo website and if you look really carefully you can see me in a couple of them.

Hay Photos

My mum has some new photos up from when we went camping in Hay. Have a look at them on her LomoHome.

Mighty Morphin' Beards

Now you see it.
Or of course it's very possible that you don't see it and all you are seeing is an error message. You could curse me for that, but I don't care (a lie, I do care, I'm just trying to be macho).

A similarity

My mummy says so.

How Tartan Stole My Money

In case you were thinking "My! That's a lot of DVDs.", that image does not show all my Tartan DVDs, only the recent purchases.

Skim City

I saw Sin City tonight. I paid £5.60 for the cinema ticket. That's £5.60 with the student discount. A person who forgot their student card paid £6.80! Bloody England.
Another stub scan for evidence.

I liked the film, a lot. Out of the others I saw it with, one liked it, one was confused, one didn't like it and the other I don't know about. With regards to the fidelity approach I can only mention that I remember seeing Marv with his mother and talking about his gun more that occurred in the film and that I don't remember Kevin poking his head through the door at the beginning of the graphic novel. I could be wrong there, as I say, I don't remember. That's the fidelity approach though, a way I'm forced to look at the film after reading. As we all know the fidelity approach is no fair way to value a film, because it is a film, not a transcript.
Later tonight, or earlier this morning I got back my marks for me disgrace of a flash project. I passed. Just. 49% (40% being the pass threshold). Walking back from the building where I pick up the slip of paper with my mark on I saw a fox, just wandering around the university, like a student, only closer to the ground than usual. I tried to take a picture on my phone but it was useless because there was a pathetic amount of light available being some time after midnight. Another failed picture I tried to take on my phone today was of a Microsoft error message on a screen on a phone in a phone box. It always gives me a little smile to see those errors in public places. It means the computers aren't able to outsmart us... unless they're bluffing. Oh!

After Life

Look it's me after I die. Yup, I'm definitely going for a swim in the lake of fire.

Mayday Winner

Spud standing below one of his prize winning pictures taken for the Mayday lomo rally in Cardiff.

Finaly Jaa

Well Chuffed.

Hay Key

Because I was writing my entries about Hay Festival in a notbook in a field, it was open to pen stealing abuse. For this reason the previous entries have been colour coded to show who wrote what.
Green represents my stepfather Pete
Blue represents my mother
The normal black is what I have written

I'm sure you didn't need telling about the black but I thought my key would look bit crap with just two colours.

Hay Festival 2005 #4

Sadly I've left it to when I am drunk and tired again to write this post. I will probably miss things out and apathetically was over details I would have liked to elaborated on. So, let me think. I woke even earlier this morning, 5:35. I managed to get back to sleep again but when I re-awoke I was damn sweaty, I'd put on loads of extra clothes to go to bed because it was colder last night.



I had my fried breakfast which was really just veggie bacon, sausages and beans for me because I don't like mushrooms. After much lounging around and attention giving to baby Grace we headed into town. When we got there we met my Dad (Dominic) and went to a pub for a pint. (I had the delicious Butty Bach). After that we went around a few bookshops and I got a few books. First I got Rim from the gigantic ex-library bookshop. Then Postmodernism For Beginners and finally a Gibson book, All Tomorrow's Parties.
Rim, Alexander Besher, £2.00
Postmodernism For Beginners, Richard Appignanesi and Chris Garratt, £2.50
All Tomorrow's Parties, William Gibson, £2.25
Meaning I made a saving of £6.68 when compared to Amazon.co.uk price.
it was then inside the Hay Cinema Bookshop that I met Anshul. The last time I saw Anshul was in Bournemouth, leaving my house after I lent him some DVDs. previous to seeing him I was worried about the fact that I had left to go on a holiday to the north of Wales without telling him. What if he wanted to return the DVDs and found I wasn't there? It was at the cinema selection I saw him and I thought. "Bloody hell! That's Anshul." and then "Wait, no, that doesn't make sense, I'm in Hay, far away from Bournemouth on a holiday at a festival most people have never heard of. May be it's just some Indian guy who looks a bit like Anshul and my uncultured brain is telling me that it is Anshul." For about three minutes I debated this with myself, all the time standing right next to him waiting for him to get up and notice me, However he was fully engrossed in the cinema books, which span my mind further because what I know of him, he is a bit of a film freak (he does do MA Editing after all). Eventually he did get up and realised that the weirdo he could see out of the corner of his eye that was fixed to his side pretending to look at books was me. Back at the campsite we went to the Hollybush Inn for food. i drank cider 'till I didn't feel so good and then we've been sitting out here since then. I'm now trying to warm my legs by a dying disposable barbecue lit for the purpose of heating.

Hay Festival 2005 #3

"You're creepy. Bugger off."

That's something Sam just said to me. I'm quite proud that I evoke ssuch a response due to my presence.
Sam and Lisa (with baby Grace) arrived shortly after we got back from a short trip to Hay. I only came back with one book: The Technique of Sex by Anthony Havil.
I was disappointed to find that it was just and old book about sex with no really exciting content. It was 50p from an honesty book shop, and as worthlessness is a common trait of most of he books on the shelf, it's content comes as no surprise. Having said that I have come across one bit that's worth mentioning I think.
"A man really has more brain than his wife - the difference, as a rule, is 4.5 ozs., the man's brain weighing 48.5 ozs., the womans only 44 ozs."
I'm hoping to find more old school gems throughout this book, as it covers topics about sex, I'm quite hopeful.
Oooh! Another extract I quite like (probably because I'm a bit disturbed) but doesn't make much sense out of context (I'll leave it that way too) is as follows.

"At last, in desperation, she threw herself out of a fourth floor window. Both her legs were badly broken and she suffered other injuries, but a few months later she gave birth to a very strong child. She had absolutely no use or wish for the baby, so it was put in an orphanage."

"Oh dear! Your mother is anally moist!" was a line I wasn't expecting from the book. Very forward for the 1950's.

I wrote that quote from Lisa and then made the mistake of leaving my notepad in the company of my mother.
Another book I picked up in Hay, but did not buy was a graphic novel compilation of noir short stories. I read one by Neil Gaiman and got half way through one by Alan Moore before Mum phones me from outside the shop to tell me to come join them.
I've now read six out of the ten short stories in Tom Fourgs's Spookfish, a book that Dominic sent me from the publisher Parthian that he works for. My father is working around the festival site somewhere, so hopefully I will see him there tomorrow. Unfortunately the author of this book I'm reading isn't here 'till Monday, so I'd probably miss the opportunity of getting my book signed.
I started writing this entry sometime when the sun was shining, I'm now finishing it in my sleeping bag in my tent by the light of a dying hypervalue battery powered lamp.
I'm not looking forward to waking up at six in the morning again because of the light but I am looking forward to the fry up planned for breakfast.

Splitter Blood

I did such a big shit that when I wiped my arse, it was more a case of moppinh the blood away.

Hay Festival 2005 #2

It's now Saturday morning. I woke at 6am and realised there was no wall to turn to, or blanket to pull over my head. In my tent there is no escape from the sunlight. I tried to use my t-shirt as a blindfold but it just kept falling off my face.
I have just had breakfast. I ate a fake bacon sandwitch that Mum vigilantly prepared against the destructive force of the wind and then I had a bowl of Rice Krispies Muddles that came from a Kellogg's multi-pack pack. They smelt like Caramac.
We will be heading into Hay after we find out what time Lisa and Sam plan on arriving.

Hay Festival 2005 #1

Wednesday evening. I was pacing in the kitchen in my student digs on my mobile phone. (Reminds me how much I wish the university hadn't forgotten to send out the application form to have the landline activated in the house. Although only able to receive incoming calls it would have been a convenience.)

Mother - "We're going to Hay on Friday."
Me - "Can I come with you?"

There was already plans to meet my grandparents in the morning. Nan and Trev were in Bournemouth on one of those OAP bus trip thingies... I have just been informed that it wasn't an OAP bus trip, it was a dance club trip, just most of the people on it were OAPs as far as I could see. OAP = OLD AGE PENSIONER BY THE WAY.

Cider is good.

and anyway I digress, I arrived at Hay and it was beautiful, the swans were singing, cows were laughing, and the pigs were croaking, what a lovely day.
mmmm car exhaust!!!

Back to my point. Arrangement was then made that after meeting Nan and Trev in Bournemouth that I would just stay in the town and catch the train home. It made more sense to go home on Thursday and go up to Hay in the car with Mum and Pete than catch the train all the way to Hereford

NOTE: He had no help spelling Hereford.

on Friday and Mum and Pete coming to pick me up from Hay.
So it was half ten that I left the house Thursday morning to catch a bus, something that I still don't have the hang of. I am terrified of catching buses. I believe the timetables are unduly complex and that rather than listing actual place names they list monkey faces.
I believe!!
We are standing around all our lives waiting for things to happen and along comes Wells, wayhey party animal!! NOT
the bus drivers' own nickname for places, leaving me incapable of working out where a bus is supposed to be going. If they listed them with sensible descriptions such as "On the street with Electronics Boutique and Toys 'R' Us" then I would understand.
and then we went to where the swans lived and fed them.
I don't trust the bus drivers, maybe this has something to do with the fact that my father used to be a bus driver.
People keep telling me to just ask the bus driver where it's going. I refuse to do this because last time I tried it the bus driver thought me such a fool that he punched me in the face and sent me rolling off the bus, nose bleeding. O.K. That's not what really happened, it may have for all the psychological prohibition it put on me. In actual fact the bus driver just replied "No! This is the 'place name' bus" and gave me a look that said "You're a pathetic little shit and I hate you for wasting my time asking such stupid questions."
So I don't like catching the bus. The train I can handle, I have learnt how to read their timetables and they depart from nice solid brick structures that have probably been there for a quarter of a century or more. It was fine catching the train from Barry to Cardiff at any time because I knew that every train that passed through Barry station would stop at Cardiff. Every train! Admittedly they were often late or absent but being fixed to parallel iron bars they would go to the destination I expected them to each and every time, little room for deviation is left.
I've just realised I haven't really been writing much about Hay, making presumptions made about this piece caused by the title will probably lead most to disappointment.
To continue with my path to Hay; I met Nan and Trev in Bournemouth where we spent some time with squirrels that were just too tame. Someone suggested feeding them biscuits. Nan didn't have any biscuits but she did have some Liquorice Allsorts, so the squirrels were fed on those. Somehow this led to my grandmother making a wisecrack about free bowel treatment that the elderlies found most amusing. I think she was quite proud of her funny because she kept reminding me and Trevor of it for the rest of our meeting.



My train journey home was mostly uneventful. I noticed a woman pointing to something out the window to her small child saying "Look at those neigh neighs", presumably horses. I thought this too abstract for a child I then though about how I would possible "Look at those equine creatures." to my own potential child in an attempt to expand its vocabulary at an early age.
I really think I should read a lot more I have a child so that I can constantly use unnecessarily large words in their presence during their development.
I was home in between the hours of 5 and 6, Pete gave me a lift from the station with Mum as he usually picks her up from work around he time I got into Cardiff. Thursday night I spent in my sleeping bag because there were not enough bed clothes in the house, this was due to Mum and Pete making me take them to uni, presumably their assumption was that the more bed clothes I have the more likely I am to change them.
Friday morningish we then left for Hay. We haven't gone anywhere in Hay other than the beer tent on the campsite we are staying and as I finish writing this I am still fairly drunk and quite tired.

Hay Key

Because I was writing my entries about Hay Festival in a notbook in a field, it was open to pen stealing abuse. For this reason the following entries have been colour coded to show who wrote what.
Green represents my stepfather Pete
Blue represents my mother
The normal black is what I have written

I'm sure you didn't need telling about the black but I thought my key would look bit crap with just two colours.

The Most Beautiful Woman In The World

I know you're all desperate for these. So here they finally are. Pictures of me in female garments. I think I should say here that if you are a male and find me attractive (even if you get a boner) don't worry. The feelings you have are perfectly natural. I'm one sweet ass bitch. You know it, I know it, I'm just damn sexy. Plus you always had a thing for adam's apples anyway.

Proceed with the photography ...........

Quality Nips eh?


It would have been a little more convincing if I had shaved my bumfluff off first I think.


You know what I can feel under that dress?


I'm so youthful and 'up for it'.


Those are 'sex' eyes.

The pictures were taken for my flash project. They were supposed to be people milling around in a bank during a robbery scene. I would post a link to the flash animation but I underestimated the difficulty of using flash and the time I had to complete the project, so it ended a rushed piece of poo.

Why Guernsey Sucks

*chortle*

Beklager, jeg snakker ikke norsk.

Things I forgot to mention in the previous post: That Cathrine looks like Neutrogena® advert. I also didn't point out the irony of me adding the Norwegian flag colours to one of the photos.

Oh, an the other thing is on the sins page under the description of pride it has a nice thing that describes me perfectly. Just to kick myself in the nuts.

Hvor er toalettet?

Norwegian Day

Today, May 17th is apparently the national Norwegian day. A day when all Norwegians can celebrate being Norwegian. I would have thought this an excuse for a bit of joyful novelty and most importantly a piss up. However excuse it seems not to be. I was bemused to see the donning of suits in preparation for a national parade. Serious suits. 'Need to impress the girlfriend/boyfriend's upper class parents' suits. There was real patriotism there. It just scares me a little because I hate patriotism, almost as much as religion. Well O.K. no where near as much as religion, but still... I'd call it national arrogance but that sounds spiteful.
Hmmm.. time for some irony. I don't like it because it's number one on this list of sins. Funny eh? I hate religion but here I am using an example from some thing religious for my own purposes. Well, It's not religious, it's a pertains to virtue and virtue is not something dependent on religion. Ahh, I love a good ole senseless rant.
I'm a bit of an extremist nutter anyway. I begrudge the two minutes that society squeezes me into giving for remembering war. I don't want to remember war, it's bad and nasty. The only sense it needs to be remembered is 'Oh, that was nasty, better not do that again eh?'. Plus I'm trying to shop. And it's eerie, like something from sci-fi when everyone just .. stops.. willingly. That's some freaky ass hypnotism shit.

Yeah, well I liked Guernsey liberation day more. That was the ironic alcohol fuelled kind of patriotism that I can get along with.
YAY! Guernsey!