Thursday, September 22, 2005

Scud & Cel Do Death 2

Phew O.K. I really do need to wash but I think writing this is more important, yes, that is because I have messed up priorities.
Is how I began writing this post this morning. You might be pleased to know that I have washed since then, although there is still mud in my hair (Why? Well, read on, read on).
I have decided to go for another method of writing this post because I am too lazy to actually write it properly. I have commented on what was already written by Celyn. I suggest that you read what he wrote on his LiveJournal so that you get it all in advance from the source before you read what I write.

Read Celyn's Side.

The way I commented was in conversation with someone on 'tMSN. So being even lazier than I should be I'm just going to copy the chat log and change it a bit to make me look better having both made the comments with hindsight and then modified them with hindsight+6. Yay.

Here goes...

22:03:57 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Did Cel tell you his lies?

22:05:07 privatenobby@hotmail.com: His side of the story, the story being "Scud & Cel Do Death 2" (Yeah, my name goes first.)?

22:05:40 someone@hotmail.com: Scud. D'you think that for once you could TRY and start at the beginning.

22:05:48 someone@hotmail.com: You could possibly speak in full sentences too.
Is this the 'lets choose between dorwning and climbing cliffs' story?

22:07:55 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Yeah.

22:08:06 someone@hotmail.com: then i have read a version of it

22:08:42 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Hm... I started writing mine this morning. I got one line into the introduction. Damn.

22:08:59 privatenobby@hotmail.com: There are half lies in it that I need to expose.

22:10:23 someone@hotmail.com: If you're going to tell me your 'true' story then go for it. otherwise...er...turnip

22:11:21 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I want to write it really. Well I suppose I could tell you and then do lots of cut and paste. That might be easier actually. And it might make it make more sense *shrug*

22:11:48 someone@hotmail.com: and i shall pretend to be interested. wow. it works out quite well.

22:29:07 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Scud came round yesterday." - True

22:29:35 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "We went to Rets with some wine and energy drinks. Watched Adam and Joe Go Tokyo! Whole series. We rock." - True True Of course true

22:29:36 someone@hotmail.com: sentence by sentence...*cries*

22:30:13 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Went home at... a time... it was still dark but fast approaching dawn. Ten to Five says the Scud half passed out behind me." - It breaks down a bit here.

22:31:47 privatenobby@hotmail.com: It was ten to five when we left Ret's, Ret kicked us out because he wanted to got to bed. The kick fuled drunken fools enquired to this poofy soberness with the question "What time is it?" After the answer we left.

22:32:30 privatenobby@hotmail.com: At this point I was not half passed out. I was drunk. Just drunk.

22:32:57 someone@hotmail.com: seems a lot more entertaining when you're half passed out. Call it artistic license

22:34:46 privatenobby@hotmail.com: If I was half passed out I would have not made the suggestion to not go back to his house, and instead only dump our bags at his house and carry on walking. I don't like it for that reason, it doesn't make sense, unconsciously you'll pick up on that, it breaks the narrative down subtly in your head, nonono, not having it.

22:35:13 privatenobby@hotmail.com: half sensible would have been much more appropriate.

22:36:00 someone@hotmail.com: i'll bear that in mind if i ever decide to make a study of it

22:36:26 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I can't be too critical however because I think he did write this as soon s we returned from our adventure where I promptly passed out and he started his writing, I think I had been awake for about 4 more hours longer than him though.

22:36:52 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "We... walked... down by the cliff fronts. He suggested this walk and i agreed through drunkeness. He suggested we transfer the walk to the beach. I agreed through drunkeness... then the tide came in."

22:46:45 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "We... walked... down by the cliff fronts. He suggested this walk and i agreed through drunkeness. He suggested we transfer the walk to the beach. I agreed through drunkeness... then the tide came in." -
This I like.. There's a bit of an ellipsis that I would like to have kept in, the walk to the cliffs, but it could be considered boring waffle and so a sensible cut to make. The agreeing through drunkenness nicely diverts responsibility for doom on to me, I'm not bothered by this, mostly because I consider it to be my fault but also because I expect him to repeatedly poke me in the eye. I would have included much more drama in the coming in of the tide. I think I will elaborate on that a bit more because it's one of funniest and most interesting bits, the change from walking drunks to situation of peril. It involved the possibility of death, I'm sure I've mentioned my recent problem with finding death funnier that it probably should be.

22:47:24 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Trapped on a little stretch of pebble beach our backs to a very unstable muddy, crumbly cliff with only a japanese fisherman for company i perhaps may have cursed Scuds name, genitals and general Scuddyness a few too many times. I manage to convince him that... while it SEEMED safe as the fisherman seemed fairly professional, that he was in fact suicidally depressed and amazingly fucking bitter which meant that our being there just made him pleased someone else was going to die with him. "

22:48:16 privatenobby@hotmail.com: The cursing I don't really remember, as I said, I expect it, nothing out of the unusual to me.

22:49:05 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I can also note that while he cursed the situation, he was loving it, and me and my me-y-ness for getting us there.

22:49:47 someone@hotmail.com: ...should i make an interested comment at this point?

22:50:00 privatenobby@hotmail.com: If you like.

22:50:16 someone@hotmail.com: oh really?

22:50:20 someone@hotmail.com: there. do continue.

22:53:29 privatenobby@hotmail.com: His convincing me of the fisherman's mentality is a reference to "Scud & Cel Do Death 1" (ohoh, another story, possibly documented in the form of poetry (might have been during my beatnik phase (a weekend sometime))). Although it was logical to assume that we weren't going to die on the drown because there was a fisherman there... the drunkeness and Cel's ability and the increasingly rising tide did actually put doubts and a little bit more fear into my mind.

22:53:57 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Eventually the tide came in so far that we (read: screaming scud) feared for our lives.
I asked Scud "Should i try and scale the cliff or try and stare down the ocean." He said the cliff so i did and started scrabbling up it in crazy ninja style."

22:55:11 privatenobby@hotmail.com: That makes me sound like a pussy. I don't remember being a pussy I remember being a little bit cold, bored and thinking about the fisherman ... he was sooo Japanese.

22:56:42 privatenobby@hotmail.com: And he tried to pin the Climbing idea on me, true I was impatient, and I may have ask/suggested it at some point, maybe many times ... but .. but .. I'm not so clear on my point here because I'm building on something I argued with Cel about while I was drunk.

22:57:55 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Crazy ninja? O.K. Crazy ninja, it's flexible I suppose, I'll give him that.

--- as part of a tangent a hand flapping was omitted here ---

23:06:50 someone@hotmail.com: No alarms and no surprises please.
the 'Japanese' fisherman never existed did he...

23:07:13 privatenobby@hotmail.com: He did exist. :D
23:07:26 privatenobby@hotmail.com: It makes me happy that he seems fictional.

23:08:18 someone@hotmail.com: i will flap my hand at you again *flaps hand*

23:08:55 privatenobby@hotmail.com: How do we know he was Japanese? I can't say for certain but he was one of the most Japenesey guys I had ever seen. Someone was holding flash cards of Asian people I would say with much confidence "Japanese".

23:09:43 someone@hotmail.com: *thinks carefully*

23:09:45 someone@hotmail.com: OK

23:10:51 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Now Scud is far more agile than me and he's generally far more skilled at the l33t-shit. He does Crazy Kung-Fu... he idolises capoeira! Anyway... he couldnt do it! He was shatting himself! He couldnt climb up as high as i did because he was too scared to move fast enough so the ground was just crumbling away beneath him... ahh, my one minor victory."

23:12:28 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Nothing to change there .. all very true. He had a drunken victory I wouldn't climb the bit he did because the risks were too high, if I slipped I was at least two broken legs, I was too scared.

23:22:03 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "Then when we were going back down he was being all careful and sensible... and i was sliding on my arse than standing up and doing a boogie dance. Not stupid as i was completely aware of the situation... but perhaps foolish... anyway, we're still alive. Scud describes it as "Playing cliff-chicken." Yay. "

23:22:19 someone@hotmail.com: Now hurry up. you keep breaking up my bedtime story

--- I remind you dear reader that there were numerous tangents that have been omitted ---

23:23:01 someone@hotmail.com: although...i relj#]

23:23:25 someone@hotmail.com: *i really don't want this to be the last thing i think about before sleeping

23:23:59 privatenobby@hotmail.com: True, true, true, true. The chicken referred to the height of climb as the height generally but also the shape of the cliff made it more dangerous the more you did climb. The chicken description also explains the kind of victory I saw him having.

23:24:31 someone@hotmail.com: how symbolic. is that the end?

23:24:39 privatenobby@hotmail.com: NO!

23:24:45 someone@hotmail.com: *cower*

23:24:51 privatenobby@hotmail.com: And you know it isn't!

23:25:01 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "So the tide went out eventually. It was about 10 or 11 am by now. So we should head home the quickest way we know now right? No. We walk in the opposite direction, try a bit mroe cliff climbing. I put my hand into the clay like wall and pull it away to discover a nest of spiders... at this point i also have a massive fucking tree root EMBEDDED IN MY HAIR."

23:27:24 privatenobby@hotmail.com: The tree root.

23:27:31 privatenobby@hotmail.com: It was clearly a branch.

23:28:17 someone@hotmail.com: I was confused at the time of reading how he had managed to uproot a 'massive fucking tree' and put it on his head. But then i remembered who'd written it.

23:30:55 privatenobby@hotmail.com: It appeared to be growing out of the side of the cliff, so you would think it to be a root, but it had little bud things on it. I pointed them out to him and he still wanted to call it a root. He did compromise on "branch/root thing". It may have got stuck in his hair while climbing but it was only after he had taken it from the hill (as a memento) and we were walking back that he intentionally tangled it in his hair.

23:31:25 privatenobby@hotmail.com: "We walk untill we find some caravan ridden holiday home surrounded by a tall wire fence with barbed wire at the top. We climb it, walk through the aged campers and begin the long walk home along the road.
My organs hurts."

23:32:13 someone@hotmail.com: And they lived happily ever after.

23:32:18 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I think it was worth mentioning that there were at least two runs of barbed wire at the top, makes it sound more EXTREEEME!

23:32:30 someone@hotmail.com: hardKore

23:33:15 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I think something about the state of our bodies from the exterior should have been dropped in there too.

23:34:05 privatenobby@hotmail.com: I had piles of clay like mud stuff inside my shoes, we were both wet and muddy with clay/mud stuff.

23:34:11 someone@hotmail.com: You've not altered much of it at all. is this really necessary?

23:34:32 privatenobby@hotmail.com: It's lie exposing.

23:34:43 privatenobby@hotmail.com: A certain necessity.

23:34:49 privatenobby@hotmail.com: Damnit.

23:34:55 someone@hotmail.com: as is sleep.

23:34:59 someone@hotmail.com: Can i go now?

23:35:19 privatenobby@hotmail.com: You could have gone a while ago. ... You have my thanks.



There, I didn't mark all the places where I cut stuff out but if you care to look at the timestamps I'm sure you can get a good idea.
The person I was talking to does not have the email someone@hotmail.com if you were wondering; it is my cunning method of politely creating anonymity.
That should do for this post. I had much I really should have wrote about. Other stories related to recent pictures on my Flickr but I think this post is plenty heavy enough already.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

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SCUD said...

Although I thought spam was fun, I'm ow thinking I might need to put on that spam stopper thing. I don't want this happening on every post I make.

Anonymous said...

"At this point I was not half passed out. I was drunk. Just drunk."
I was talking about you being half-passed out behind me. Not half passed-out when we left Rets. You were lying behind me talking really slowly and wearily with your eyes shut when i typed that.

"I can't be too critical however because I think he did write this as soon s we returned from our adventure where I promptly passed out and he started his writing"
O RLY?

"I can also note that while he cursed the situation, he was loving it, and me and my me-y-ness for getting us there."
This is true.

"the drunkeness and Cel's ability and the increasingly rising tide did actually put doubts and a little bit more fear into my mind."
I love to make you suffer.

"That makes me sound like a pussy. I don't remember being a pussy I remember being a little bit cold, bored and thinking about the fisherman ... he was sooo Japanese."
I remember you being a pussy. You kept ranting about the "video where the kids died" in paniced tones and pacing.

"And he tried to pin the Climbing idea on me, true I was impatient, and I may have ask/suggested it at some point, maybe many times ... but .. but ... blah blah blah"
That conversation started with me suggesting scaling the cliffs and you dismissing it, then you started to consider the idea more and i was suddenly the one dismissing it. We changed sides in that conversation without really thinking about it quite a lot. Do you remember me saying early on about "toppling"? In the end it was how i said it, I gave you an option as to wether i would try it as i honestly couldnt decide. You said the cliffs.

"It was clearly a branch."
It was clearly a root.

"he intentionally tangled it in his hair."
I was scratching my back with it and trying to shift it into a comfortable carrying position. When i noticed it had gotten stuck in my hair i intentionally stuck it in further.

"I think something about the state of our bodies from the exterior should have been dropped in there too."
Okay. I was more bruised and battered, you where more cut and bloody.

SCUD said...

""It was clearly a branch."
It was clearly a root."
It was clearly a branch.

Anonymous said...

Twas a root good sirrah... or the branch of a magical underground fully grown tree.

SCUD said...

How about a bush? A wide branching bush?

Anonymous said...

a wide branching UNDERGROUND magic bush?

SCUD said...

I didn't see you do any digging!

Anonymous said...

No, you couldn't see me at all! You were too busy crying and wanking over the fisherman!

SCUD said...

THAT... THAT IS UNSUBSTANTIATED!

Anonymous said...

That is the truth!

SCUD said...

You'll be hearing from my lawyer Mr. Anonymous. I know where you live. We can post letters.

Anonymous said...

WE ARE ANONYMOUS FOR WE ARE MANY!

Anonymous said...

He's right you know. He can post letters. There's a post box right outside his front door.

Anonymous said...

It's like stumbling into a gay club and your trousers falling down instantly - Ret's quick cap review of Scuds Blog.